Constipated John keeps your booze crisp enough to flush another day, the right way!
Preserve wine and alcohol freshness with this custom wine stopper featuring Constipated John reigning atop his majestic throne. John is always a little plugged up too, so he won't be relieving his drainer or stainer in your bottles any time soon. Your wine, liquor, olive oil, balsamic vinegar, bath oil, decorative herbs, or whatever liquid gold might be in your bottles will remain a grumpy free zone!
Don't forget to stock up on these decorative yet functional cute wine stoppers to use as party favors or birthday gifts for all your naughty friends this year as well! Constipated John loves staying warm as a stocking stuffer during the holidays and Christmas season too!
From the barstool to the stool, Constipated John is winery tested and approved to keep your wines and spirits vivacious with an airtight seal.
Made from high quality, FDA tested and approved 18-8 304 kitchen grade stainless steel. This ensures your bottled ingredients maintain their integrity for even the most anal chefs in any kitchen! Bon Appétit!
Best of all, no matter how tipsy you get, Constipated John always stands straight up on flat level surfaces! Hey, you might tip over but Constipated John will stay put...
Risk Free Satisfaction Guaranteed - if for any reason Constipated John is stored next to your laxatives and you should find your wine or spirits to be tainted, you can return him for a full refund within 30 days of delivery.
Buy with confidence knowing the lifetime warranty has your back instead of backing you up. Constipated John has been trained to seal the deal for the rest of your life if you're ready for that kind of thing. Hey, what you stuff into your bottles is none of our business!